As I write this article I am returning from Hong Kong.  A place which, for me, represents ‘A World Apart’. This visit was the 16th time I have stayed in Hong Kong.  I once lived there and a part of me feels that it is my true home. Whilst it’s no longer my physical home it is one of the places that I visit where the ‘Self’ in me feels at home.

I will share a little of why I experience Hong Kong in this way.

My story

My story begins on July 4th, 1981 and this date defines the beginning of the transformational journey I have taken.

As I reflect to write my narrative I realise that my journey consciously began in 1977.

One morning in 1977 I woke up and experienced my life differently and, whist on the surface nothing appeared to have changed, everything in my life looked and felt altered.  What had been significant and mattered no longer appeared to have the same meaning and value.

Outwardly it looked as if I had achieved everything that I believed I wanted for a worthy and admirable life. I had married a splendid man who was a good husband; I had two lovely daughters; lived in a beautiful home within a pleasant environment and yet……. I felt lost and did not know what direction to look in.

I now have the insight and understanding to know that I needed to make a transformational inner journey, but at the time I did not consciously know such a thing could exist or be made.  Both my background and living in 1977 UK as a wife and mother meant that I held and lived some traditional and restrictive opinions and beliefs, including the idea of being a ‘good stay at home mother’. Somehow, studying and or having a professional life was not forefront in my thinking at that time.

Also, personal and self-development programmes were not particularly common knowledge or practice – especially for a woman. However, terms like inner growth, self-development, raising consciousness and changing paradigms were beginning to be heard and accepted as the 1970’s was a rebellious decade. I had somehow heard the collective calls for growth and evolution and I had been stirred!

So, how could I change what I was feeling? How could my life be different? What did I need to do and be to find meaning and purpose once more? What might help me?

One route I could have taken was to become more deeply involved within a formal religion. Or I could have explored other religions and spiritual traditions or associated myself with Eastern philosophies. I could have also ignored my feelings completely, attempting to knuckle down and sate my unrest and distress by buying a bigger house, having another child, getting a little job.

But I was looking for answers to live my life with more purpose and felt quite desperate and frantic……… where to look?

Creativity entered - I joined a local ‘History of Art’ class and enrolled in an art therapy group.

This was the beginning of my transformational journey.  At the time, I had no idea then where my intuition would lead me but I trusted it was ok to be seeking and asking bigger existential questions.

Four years later and I had been introduced to the world of psychology and personal and professional development.  I had located a route and I began to study psychosynthesis psychology.  Founded by Roberto Assagioli an Italian psychiatrist, psychosynthesis is a psychology of love and will with a key assumption that every human being has a vast potential for personal growth with a natural tendency to synthesis all aspects of their being to self-realise. This concept suited my quest and I began my training with enthusiasm and eagerness.

However, my studies were interrupted as my husband was offered a secondment for two years to Hong Kong.  Truly, ‘A World Apart’ and a very important and informative detour on my transformational journey.

The Hong Kong detour 1981

We arrived in Hong Kong in 1981 and it was still part of the British colony at that time.  We settled into a daily life which was very different to our life in the UK.

We were known as ‘Gweillo’s’ (big nose) or expats.  The expat life we went to and were expected to embrace and the expat life that we chose to live turned out to be very different.

We soon found out that there was a hierarchical system for expats living and working in Hong Kong during the 1980’s.  Many would live in an area known as the ‘Mid-Levels’; the very wealthy would live in the area known as ‘The Peak’; those who were considered to be further down the ranks would likely be based in Kowloon and some in ‘The New Territories’.  We were based in The New Territories.

I soon discovered that many Hong Kong based expats had never been to the New Territories.  There were also unwritten rules and terms within the expat culture and one of these terms was that wives did not recognise the individuality of a woman or wife as being distinct from their husband.

When I met with other expat women, which I frequently had to do, I was often greeted with a question: ‘What do you do?’  Initially, I would respond with how I filled my days.  I would experience a distance, a detachment and witness the questioner’s eyes cloud over.  Once again, they would repeat the same question, ‘What do you do?’  After a while, I realised what they meant: ‘What does your husband do…what is his status?  They were uninterested in me and my individuality. This cultural concept was difficult to get used to and accept, especially as I had embarked on a journey of self-development.

So, having begun a journey of self-exploration I had to find enriching ways to live my life in Hong Kong and the expat community. For me, this meant I had to once again meet my own needs and go on a quest.  This quest took me to Tai Chi classes, Raja Yoga philosophy and a bookshop in Ocean Terminal called Swindon.

I would go to the Swindon bookshop on a weekly basis, searching for New Age books, books on self-development and psychology. One day, a small Chinese man came over to me and spoke, saying, ‘I have noticed you look always at interesting books.  Can we have tea and speak?’

This short sentence and simple, kind act provided the catalyst for the next stage of my journey.  Whilst I could not continue to study psychosynthesis in Hong Kong I could continue my journey through a relationship with Henry Lee, who turned out to be one of the owners of all the good bookshops in Hong Kong and Kowloon.  My journey took on a new direction.

Together Henry Lee and I set up an East West Centre in Kowloon.

The motivation to establish the centre was determined by a need to introduce and provide information to help visitors in Hong Kong from a western culture. We devised a scheme that introduced inquiring westerners to local Chinese people.  These locals could share their knowledge, insight and wisdom of how eastern culture worked and provide information to enable the visitors to integrate and understand.  It was a centre for education and support.

This little centre was a success and offered a supportive and creative environment for many people passing through the colony of Hong Kong.

Because I had the courage to step outside of the known, to ignore the expats expectations and belief systems and to forge my own way, I found an intensely rewarding and interesting life.  My husband supported me to live the life that was important to me, despite the fact that his colleagues were challenging him and suggesting that I was ‘fraternising with the local people’ and not acting in the expected manner.

This period provided a profound source of learning for me. In many ways, this wonderful, challenging and inspiring time encompassed ‘A World Apart’.

Rolling forward 2017 in Hong Kong

Let me now roll forward to 2017 and consider the visit I have just made to Hong Kong. What a different place to my original 1981 experience. I revisited what was a small island, Chep Lap Kok, a place where I would take my children to a Buddhist youth camp travelling to and from on an old Chinese junk. Chep Lap Kok is now an international airport.

The amazing energy of the Chinese, continually evolves and represents that ‘anything is possible’.

I now realise that, at the time of my very first visit, I recognised and responded to this ‘anything is possible’ energy.  At that time though, I could never have imagined the powerful journey I had chosen to make and where it would eventually lead me.  Hong Kong, more than anywhere else I have been, reminds me of the privilege of life and the opportunity to engage with a transformational journey.

I now have the opportunity to use all sorts of enabling skills as I facilitate people across the globe. Assisting in the validity of identity, helping people recognise and value the journey of their life, supporting individuals to access connection to their inner ‘Will to Service’ through becoming a coach.

To connect with Anne Welsh via Linkedin

Anne Welsh MA, is the founding director of Synthesis in the City and brings a wealth of life experience to her leadership work. Anne is an APECS accredited executive coach and coach supervisor; a trainer; supervisor; mentor and group facilitator. Anne is also a UKCP accredited psychotherapist with over twenty-five years of experience working with adults individually and in groups.

 Anne works globally with a diverse range of organisations in her capacity as a consultant, facilitator and leadership coach, including Glaxo Smith Kline and Investec.