TOWARDS MY PERSONAL MODEL OF COACHING-and how you might find your own model (Part 1) by Andrew Parrock
What personal models of coaching can do for a coach
Coaching has expanded at a rapid rate over the past decade or so, to judge by the quantity of coaching-related emails that regularly ping into my inbox, all offering amazing insights, techniques and ideas and all, inevitably, requiring me to part with money. It feels to me like there are more people out there making money out of offering coaches material than there are coaches making money by coaching. Of course, I have no objective evidence for such a sweeping statement, but I make it because what is being offered appear to be ‘ready-made’ approaches to coaching, a delightful, enticing and seductive mixture of tools with, apparently, no underlying unifying idea [1]
What this article is about is ‘approaches to coaching’, with the big exception that you don’t have to part with any money. On the other hand, you may have to pay in another currency; the effort of hard thinking and coming up with your own answers. I hope that is an acceptable compromise. I have further split this blog into a two part series to help with this consideration:
Part 1: Explores the various approach a coach can learn their craft. I’ll start with a brief overview, taken directly from the Introduction and Conclusion chapters in the Handbook of Coaching, to give some context, being grateful for the erudition and experience of the numerous contributors to that excellent reference book. I’ll describe the development of my coaching, and the various approaches that have influenced my practice, knowing that is personal to me, but trusting that it will provide a concrete story that illustrates the point I want to make.
Part 2: Explores my personal model of coaching. Here I’ll describe my personal coaching approach/philosophy, that has emerged in the last few months as a result of conversations with Yvonne Thackray, who runs ‘the good coach’.
How a coach can learn their craft given that there are many approaches to coaching
The Handbook of Coaching has numerous chapters with 13 different theoretical perspectives, 13 contexts and genres, with a final section on professional practice issues. This is not a book review, but as the Handbook is a recognised authoritative source, I have used it to give us a good idea of just how wide this subject is.
Just where could a new coach begin? Starting from twenty-six approaches would clearly be a daunting task, and practically this is not how coaches begin their studies into coaching [2]
The Handbook (p537) says “…that a personal model of coaching practice may include three essential elements:
A philosophy that underpins coaching practice: How practitioners see human nature and the world? What is important for them?
The main purpose of coaching: What is it for? What is the coach trying to achieve?
A coherent process: What tools, methods and procedures are needed and appropriate for working towards this purpose and are congruent with this philosophy?
The Handbook’s authors’ experience shows that often coaches do not have an explicit model of their practice (p538). They say that this is sometimes a reflection of a coach’s pragmatic stance. Sometimes because the coach wants flexibility to change their approach according to their client’s needs and their current situation. They warn that this can leave a coach without a clear rationale for why they do what they do (my italics). Then they add:
“A clear rationale does not mean a rigid position. It indicates a current state of reasonable consistency from which coaches might choose to increase awareness and to experiment in enhancing their practice.”
They encourage experimentation but note that there is an ongoing debate about ‘depth vs breadth’, between single theory-based approaches and those which draw upon a more portfolio of theories. Each has its advantages and disadvantages, with no simple conclusion. But they do “believe in the value of a well-formulated model of coaching that may incorporate one, two or more theoretical perspectives that at least do not clash in terms of their main assumptions…This would be able to support ‘a managed eclecticism’ in terms of the tools, techniques and knowledge that other approaches offer.” [page 539]
But, I suggest, most coaches when they start do not develop their coaching from a theoretical model, nor do they have an underpinning philosophy in mind when they do. They may not even be aware that there is such a thing as a ‘philosophy of coaching’. I certainly did not.
For example, the Institute of Learning & Management’s Level 5 qualification, “Effective Coaching and Mentoring” (https://www.thebcfgroup.co.uk/business-coaching/ilm-level-5-business-coaching-and-mentoring.php) has this syllabus (Box A)
The CMI Level 5 qualification I took had a similar focus on the practicalities of coaching [Box B].
For a coach starting out, knowing these practicalities is absolutely essential. It’s a scary thing, going into a coaching session for the first time wearing the badge of “professional coach”, and new coaches need these practical foundations. I certainly did.
However, essential as these practicalities are, there is nothing in these training courses about a philosophy of coaching. What IS coaching? This was the question that Yvonne put to me one day in April 2023, which stopped me dead in my tracks. I had no answer. This got me thinking. Then writing. Which is why we are here.
I went back to basics and looked for a definition of coaching (which I found on page xxix of the Handbook);
“Coaching is a human development process that involves structured, focused interaction and the use of appropriate strategies, tools and techniques to promote desirable and sustainable change for the benefit of the client and potentially for other stakeholders”
Also:
“Other definitions identify coaching as a helping strategy, designed to enable people to reach their full potential. BUT it appears that these definitions are not definitive enough to distinguish coaching from its close neighbours-mentoring, counselling and consulting- as these other forms of helping all make similar claims (p xxxi)”
Approaches to coaching
It is clear that there are many different approaches to coaching, given that the Handbook has twenty-six chapters on different approaches (see Box C).
My coaching training never went near any of these, there was just too much basic material that had to be mastered. Whether it had to be mastered before any of these approaches were examined, I was not in position to judge. The basic material I learned served me very well indeed, as a practical way of giving me the initial confidence to coach.
How my coaching developed
Looking at this tremendous list of different approaches to coaching, and circumstances where coaching can happen, it is clear to me that when I started, I was doing nothing of any of these, at least not consciously. I was struggling to apply GROW, to listen to my clients and be fully present while batting away stray thoughts and judgements. The last thing on my mind was having ‘an approach’.
But later, when I had become comfortable with GROW and had moved away from rigidly applying it, as my coaching hours increased, slowly but surely I became more curious about the wider context of coaching. The impetus for me was sharing the learning from my CMI Level 5 Diploma with my colleagues at work. We had set up a coaching and mentoring programme for our part of our organisation, as a result of a larger initiative for managers, which adopted a ‘sheep dip once-and-done’ approach. My colleagues were dissatisfied with this and I, blithely confident, offered to share my learning. Was I overconfident? Yes. Did I learn from doing this? Absolutely! There is nothing like having to explain something to someone else to force you to make sure that you do understand what you are talking about.
I decided that we needed a copy of the Handbook as a resource for our programme, and began to read selected chapters to augment my learning from the Diploma, cherry-picking the topics that appeared to be the most easily digestible, I starting with Internal Coaching [Ch20, Katharine St John Brooks], moved on to Solution-Focused Coaching [Ch 3, Anthony Grant & Michael Kavanagh] then on to The NLP Approach to Coaching [ch13, Bruce Grimley], having had my interest teased by introductory one day course on NLP a year or so earlier.
Since I was developing an internal coaching and mentoring programme, the chapter on Internal Coaching was a natural place to start. It introduced me to the issue and problems that such programmes face and strongly influenced the content of the introductory training I was planning. This led me to read Katharine St John-Brooks book, ‘Internal Coaching- the inside story’, to help us develop out programme in a more systematic way.
I found the NLP approach was interesting, not so much for the approach it described as a whole, but for some of the presuppositions of NLP, particularly the idea that the individual has their solution within themselves. The technique of using separate chairs to allow a client to explore their perspective and other people’s perspectives has come in useful on many occasions.
The one that spoke to me the most was the solution-focussed approach. I loved the idea that a coach and client should not overly focus on the past because of the possibility that the client could become locked in a ‘this is a problem’ way of thinking. We could look into the past just enough to understand where the issue had come from, no more, and then move on to working out what to do about it, using GROW or some deliberate planning process to map out the steps the client had decided were the things they needed to do. I loved its positivity, probably because I am an irredeemable optimist.
That, I think, is an important point: the approach chimes with my personality, I find it easy and natural to do. I think that is an important point when reflecting on what your personal philosophy might be- does it fit well with who you are, with your outlook on life, your values and beliefs?
Around about the same time as I was reading ‘The Handbook’, I stumbled across the second edition of Amy Brann’s ‘Neuroscience for Coaches’. This was an eye-opener for me, the idea that some fundamental science could be harnessed to help my coaching was very exciting indeed. As a former science teacher, it was a perfect blend for me. That ‘perfect for me’ thing again!
The thing that I most remember from this book is the fact that the human brain is ‘plastic’; it changes in response to its environment. In other words, we can learn, and this can happen at any age if the owner of that brain is inclined to listen and learn. When Dr Brann offered an online course, I jumped at the chance to add more detail to her book. The material on emotions has stuck with me the most from that.
Not long after that, by way of a huge dose of serendipity, I came across Stephen Fleming and his book ‘Know Thyself; the new science of self-awareness’. His book opened a whole new chapter in my coaching practice. It stimulated me to a massive creative burst which resulted in the two longest blogs on coaching I have ever written, which look at how coaches can use his ideas to improve their coaching [see refs 5 and 6].
So, where has that rather tortuous and aimless path brought me? When I reflect on how I coached when I started my formal training in late 2015, how it developed through the period until I achieved Accreditation in 2020, against how I do it now in 2023, the change is enormous. GROW is there, but deep in the background; I am always attending to what my client wants to achieve, in fact that is still at the forefront of my mind, but the discrete stages of Goal-Reality-Options-Will are not signposted at all. The conversation is a much more genuine conversation, back and forth, with me sharing (with my client’s permission- a thing I got from my supervisor) my experience, knowledge and understanding if I think my client might find it relevant and they want to hear it. Seeking my client’s permission is important: I am not, and do not want to be perceived as, the ‘master’ in the coaching relationship. I want us to be equal partners in their journey, and that is something that I work on. This is an idea I got from my supervisor, who is another big influence on my coaching practice [see ref 7 for his latest blog].
I’ll strive to understand my client’s situation, as far as they understand it, all the time with an eye on their goal, asking questions aiming to get them to look at themselves in a different light (the ‘solution-focus’ I mentioned earlier), but softened a bit to allow my curiosity full play in understanding my client.
Essential elements of my coaching
Proper listening is easier now, improving imperceptibly with time and practice. Errant thoughts are observed and allowed to pass. The whole thing feels like I get into a flow state more easily and more rapidly, focusing on my client while balancing their goal and the questions that occur, sometimes more readily, sometimes not; I feel more ‘present’. Underneath this is still the curiosity about my client’s situation, and the desire to help them resolve it, which is the fourth essential element of ‘care’.
All in all, my coaching has become easier and more natural, moving from ‘conscious competence’ to ‘unconscious competence’. It would be slipping more and more into that fourth learning phase had I not learned about ‘Deliberative Practice’ (see ref 5 for how that happened- self-awareness blog #1 part 2). So now I note this increasing ease and consciously strive to remain aware of what I’m doing, aiming to ‘coach on the edge’ [ref 5], the ‘fifth element’ of my coaching.
In the final part of this two part series, I explain my personal model of coaching and how this fits into the broader context of coaching itself.
Andrew Parrock (MSc, CMgr, MCMI) has, since graduating in 1980, been a teacher, a tax specialist and a manager. He spent 10 years as a volunteer mentor with undergraduate students at UCL and, later, Brunel University as part of the National Mentoring Consortium. He discovered coaching late in his career and has now become an accredited coach at Practitioner Level with the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC).
Endnotes:
[1] I used to teach chemistry many years ago. One of my greatest joys was describing how the Periodic table of the Chemical Elements arises due to the way electrons arrange themselves in atoms. This joy in finding underlying unity of theory or hypothesis has never left me.
[2] I am a member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council, EMCC. Please note that where I write ‘coaching’ I also in my mind include ‘mentoring’ as well. I know they are different, but it saves a lot of circumlocution.
References
1. The Complete Handbook of Coaching 3rd Edition, eds Elaine Cox, Tatiana Bachkirova and David Clutterbuck. Sage, 2018
2. Neuroscience for Coaches, 2nd edition Amy Brann, Kogan Page 2017
3. Know Thyself- the new science of self-awareness by Stephen M Fleming
4. Neuroscience for organisational Change by Hilary Scarlett
5. Metacognition; thinking about thinking, Andrew Parrock,2022
6. Confidence and Coaching, Andrew Parrock, 2023
7. Supervision: ‘I have no idea what is going to happen, and I love it!’ by Kevin Cowley