If...for Coaches by Isobel Gray

If...for coaches

If I can remain genuinely curious
When every fibre in my body
Is screaming 'No!'
and want to go away and withdraw.

If I can keep myself open
when in a state of ‘not knowing’
when I’m feeling confused;
If I can feel the draw
towards structure, or a nice tool
That would give ME a sense of being in control
If I can stay with the vacuum of ‘not knowing’
and follow the client
Waiting to see what emerges for them.

If I can experience my own feelings
Of impatience, frustration, anxiety,
boredom
and step back.
If I can see my feelings as data;
Is this about me, or
Is this an impact they can have on others?

If I can be comfortable
when feeding my observations and
Hypothesis to the client “I’m wondering..”
Followed by the client coming back with a ‘No…
its something very different…
If I don’t feel inadequate, but rather
“Oh that’s really interesting..”
and stay genuinely curious...

If I can resist the temptation to step in
and give the client
the huge benefits of my advice;
If I truly listen,
follow their line of thinking
Asking questions to help
Build and extend their flow
Into new insights and possibilities

If I don't take at face value the words
the client uses, but rather noticing
any contradictions and inconsistencies,
the person and their bearing and tone,
and drawing that to their attention
with no sense of triumph
At my skills;
It's not about me!

If I can approach coaching
in the spirit of a
shared journey and myself as a companion
honoured to accompany
Somebody on their learning journey

If I ever find myself
feeling ever so slightly superior..
Then I can be sure of a fall coming
and just remind myself
I am also but a frail human being

If I can have some humility
and share a good laugh
Seeing humour as the best reality check

Then I am a true coach,
and even more importantly my Friend,
We are living Life to its full potential.

To connect with Isobel Gray