5 ways to create effective virtual coaching that simulates face to face coaching by Lesley Hayman (Guest)
Following the Corona Virus lock down there has been a lot written on virtual coaching. For some coaches working virtually has been a new and a steep learning curve; for others, myself included, it has just been more of what we already do. I have always had a number of my coachees who lived overseas with whom I have coached virtually. When I started I was quite anxious about the logistics of coaching virtually but once I had got into the routine of setting everything up in advance and knowing how I could cope if there was a tech failure I relaxed and started to enjoyed it.
I must admit I am a big fan. Virtual coaching allows me to coach clients across the world which I love. It is also very easy to fit in coaching sessions at different times of the day and from different locations provided you have a good internet connection. From a business point of view it makes sense too as well as there is no travelling time and no looking for the right venue for coaching both of which cost time and money.
So whether you are new and still wondering how to get the basics right or whether you are an old timer looking for new ideas, I thought you might be interesting in reading about what works for me and my coachees.
Building the relationship with your coachee virtually
One important question I had when starting virtual coaching is whether I could build rapport and mutual trust, two essential ingredients in a successful coaching experience.
It did not take long for me to be able to answer with a resounding yes. I find my coachees are often more relaxed when they are in their own homes and there are just the two of us on either side of our laptop screens. Importantly, they have found their safe space to have our coaching conversations which is as critical when choosing where to meet for face-to-face coaching. In an odd way we are quite close, both sitting close up to our screens. At the same time, it feels very private and even anonymous, as the remote connection makes the other person seem very far away. Their location remains unknown. This paradoxical sense of closeness and distance can reinforce a sense of the coaching space as both safe and confidential.
I am not saying virtual coaching is only pluses. Looking into the screen you do not see the whole person from head to toe and you know very little about what is around them. But as far as I am concerned, and with a stable technology platform, it is more than enough to build a really strong rapport and trust between us because my coaching presence is similar whatever the medium. I feel I ‘know’ my virtual coachees really well even if I have never ‘physically’ met them. \
Do my coachees think virtual coaching works for them?
I decided to check this out explicitly with one of them who runs her own business. I only met her in person after three months of coaching her virtually. She said she actually prefers virtual coaching: she finds it easier to prepare herself for the coaching sessions in her own home. She can make coffee and settles down in a comfortable chair before the session. She feels relaxed wearing her own informal clothing. It gives her a great sense of freedom and it feels like a very safe place. She feels the virtual connection provides all she needs from the other person to create a close connection with them. The rest - how tall the other person is, what their body shape is, what they are wearing etc. can even be a distraction for her when she meets them in person.
My 5 ways to create effective virtual coaching
Reflecting on what I have learned from coaching virtually, I have come up with a series of top tips for virtual coaching. Here they are:-
1. Connect using video not just audio Seeing the other person’s face and gestures is really important for understanding what is happening between the two of you and therefore for building rapport. If for some reason your client prefers a call without video keep it shorter. One of my coaching colleagues divides her usual two hour f2f coaching session into two one hour sessions when coaching over the phone.
2. There are lots of ways to connect with video and the good news is that many decent ones are free:- The industry norm for virtual coaching seems to be Zoom but there are also FaceTime, WhatsApp, Skype, Blue Jeans to mention a few. I have tried them all with success. Better to coach on your lap top than on your phone, the small screen of the latter makes rapport building possible but more difficult.
3. Preparing – getting the tech right
Email your client during the 24 hours before the session to check the client is expecting the call.
Prepare to connect well in advance in case there are any technical glitches, and make sure you are ready to email or text in case there are. Agree what to do if the line goes down in advance of the call. Be ready to switch to a phone call if necessary - although personally I have never had to do this.
Do not video call from a place you are unfamiliar with. I ran a session from the basement of a coffee shop only to discover that underground the internet connection was very shaky.
Some video conference tools have a waiting room where you can enter and see yourself on the screen before joining the call. An excellent opportunity to make sure you are positioned correctly and to check your appearance.
If you sit too close to the screen and are looking down into it, the other person may perceive you as threatening. This can make them very uncomfortable. Use a couple of chunky books to raise the height of your screen and sit back. You will still be close enough.
Check your background as well. Keep it simple. Messy backgrounds or even interesting bookshelves can be distracting. I spent one session wondering whether the client had a sideline as a psychotherapist as he had a wall full of therapy books behind him.
4. What techniques work with virtual coaching? You can use most of the same coaching techniques you use face to face.
I have successfully asked coachees to switch chairs or move around the room to help them understand the perspective of others (empty chair technique). The coachee takes their lap top with them to maintain our contact throughout.
You can use creative techniques as well. The coachee can draw pictures or diagrams during the session and hold them up to the screen to share them.
You can also ask the coachee to select objects from their own homes for various tasks. For example, one of my clients has small children. You can use their play dough in the coaching session to create shapes that represent feelings or challenges. In this sense being at home gives both the coach and coachee access to a much wider range of resources for the session.
It is fun to playing with the limits of virtual coaching to see what is possible: that sense of joint play can build trust
5. Technical glitches If the video line freezes, leave the call and reconnect. The down time sometimes usefully gives the client time to deepen their thinking. When you reconnect summarise where you were before the line went down and continue.
Are you a fan or virtual coaching? Why? Why not? What are your top tips? What have you tried?
Connect with Lesley Hayman via LinkedIn
Lesley is an executive coach based in central London. She draws on thirty years of international senior managerial experience in the public and private sectors leading large teams, managing change, and developing strategy. She has lived in eight countries and worked in over thirty. With her international experience she was at the vanguard of working virtually using video conferencing and managing teams virtually starting in the early 2000s.
She coaches managers and leaders at all levels encouraging them to strengthen key competencies and develop a global mindset, essential for leadership in complex organisations both public and private in a globally connected world.
